carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
