I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
