Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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