He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
