I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
