After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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