he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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