ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
