So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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