Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
