He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
