Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
