ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
