i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
