some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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