I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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