i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
