so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
