I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
