so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
