she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize