the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
