She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
