I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
