My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
