I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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