I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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