take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
