He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
