I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
