you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
