that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Everyone says I win the strip club
My legs feel like baby dolphins
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
