It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
This is not my ceiling
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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