i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
