the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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