I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
This toilet bowl is my home.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
