And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
