I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
