I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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