Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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