I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
