People with herpes should wear stickers.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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