he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
