Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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