I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
