White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
