Me. At least after what I've been through.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
