What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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