Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
