imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
