i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
