My hand turned me down
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
