there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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