I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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