they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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