What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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