Screwed.edu
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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