Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Apparently you make a good broom.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i've created a new STD.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
