ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
