Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
