some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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