What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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