my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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